Post by setrida on May 5, 2009 16:28:59 GMT -5
Okay, so I fell like I've written a thousand beginnings and like, two endings, but I guess I'm just trying to get my groove. Anyhow, I just whipped this little diddly up and now I feel like it's moving too fast. As in, I should add some of the description and background I was going to put in later before anything happens...
Well, I'd just like some opinions if you please. ;D
It was deep into the heart of the day and the sky hung black and heavy over the city, rumbling like it was on the verge of sudden collapse. Struggling rays of sun worked their way through the black clouds and on towards the ground, not strong enough to make it all the way there. Streets bustled with midday traffic, people and cars thrumming to the heartbeat of the city as they went about their days.
High above them all, Rauma leaned his back against the inside face of the clock, not bothered in the least by the hundreds of feet he would plummet should his support choose to fail. His eyes were closed, allowing the bags beneath them more room to overwhelm his features.
Were it not for the obvious signs of exhaustion and the withered look of one wanting for food, he would have been handsome. Long legs stretch for what seemed miles, tipped off by ratty tennis shoes and hidden by rather used jeans. His torso was long as well, wrapped beneath a leather bomber jacket and lengthy arms. His dark hair could do with a trim, as it fell down to tease at his shoulders and tumbled haphazardly into his sleep-tinged face.
“You’re going to get old sitting up here.”
Rauma opened his eyes like he hadn’t been asleep just moments before. “Is that so?”
The girl was slight in built and nearly overcome with the size of her t-shirt as it swallowed her torso. Beneath it extend small, jean-clad legs and down her back spilled a long pony-tail of auburn hair.
Her petit features split in a grin, showcasing a perfect set of teeth, the one thing Vienne was obsessive about. Rauma couldn’t even count the amount of times she had told him ‘a perfect smile is my ticket out of here’.
Considering where they were, he begged to differ.
All the same, it was an enchanting smile and he couldn’t help beg shrug the terrible attitude that had befallen him early that morning when he woke to find the skies even gloomier than usual, bringing in a cold front that would no doubt have the rest of his fellow street vermin slithering into the clock tower and other abandoned buildings throughout the city, invading his space.
There was ‘government housing’ down on the south side, but most feared going there unless they had been Touched. Rauma had been (not that he would tell Vienne—she would certainly abandon him if she knew) but still, he refused the housing and the prejudice that accompanied it, even down into the slums.
“So come outside with me—it’s nice and cool, not boiling like yesterday.” Vienne sidled up to him, dropping to lean against his side and rest her head on his bony shoulder. “You already look sick enough. Fresh air will do you good.”
Seeing no other option (because with Vienne there never was), Rauma pushed her head off his shoulder and stood, waiting until the top of his head was again at six-foot-five before he allowed a displeased frown to crease his features.
“Yes!” Vienne practically popped to her feet, grabbing Rauma’s hand and leading him to the tiny service elevator. They boarded it and one button had them plunging at a shuddering snail’s pace towards the ground floor. “You’ll see, it’s not as bad as you make it out to be. There’s plenty to do…”
Rauma didn’t bother listening—Vienne rarely said anything of value on these sorts of diatribes. Actually, she rarely said anything of value at all. He honestly wasn’t sure how someone could talk so much and know so little, but it seemed Vienne was determined to create the impossible in all her pursuits, this being no exception.
The elevator groaned and settled to a stop with a relieved sigh. As they got off of it and slipped out of the tower’s back door and onto the street, Vienne continued speaking, now about some park.
“…and really, it’s amazing. There’s statues and this old set of swings from way back before Fall and they haven’t even finished putting all the concrete in, so there’s still a couple trees. And I mean, they’re fenced off and all, but still…”
Figuring there was no chance he was getting out of tagging along on Vienne’s pointless adventures, Rauma resisted the urge to sigh and settled in for the long haul.
They traipsed through the city in ragtag sneakers, scuffing the dirty concrete sidewalks with their messy footsteps. Vienne continued a constant stream of chatter as they went. Telling him all about things she’d told him about a million times before.
Her voice fell into a sudden silence as her steps came to a halt. “Rauma…?”
He raised his head to pay attention to where they had been going, and instantly froze. His whole body, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head, filled with the parched feeling of inevitability. He positioned his body so he was in front of Vienne and narrowed his eyes, scanning around them to find the source of their obstacle.
“Well,” drawled the tone of a southern city slum, “Looks like I got myself a couple a youngun’s. Wasa matter? Too far from home?” The face was despicable; pimpled and pockmarked, the skin was stretched taught across emaciated features. His eyes were deep soulless pits of watery brown and beady black pupils and they fixed on Vienne with a sort of lustful hunger that set Rauma’s teeth on edge.
Rauma said nothing, reaching a hand back to grip Vienne’s arm tightly, silently claiming her. He didn’t step back, but stood his ground with a steady gaze locked on the other man’s. Naturally, Rauma was fairly intimidating, what with his rather formidable height, and he used it fully to his advantage in this moment by drawing his spine up to its very straightest.
The lanky, gaunt man stepped forward, his greedy fingers curling into a bony fist and releasing a moment later. “You a hero, boy?”
In the shadow the clouds caught the sunlight with, the battle of wills was ominous.
“Of course not,” Rauma retorted, “There aren’t any heroes in this city.”
A chuckle, high and hysterical, rose from the man like a punch, bursting suddenly into the air and ripping straight through the tension. “Well,” he gasped through the chortling, “damn straight.” He humor cleared quickly enough, though, and the greedy lust returned to his face. “So why don’t you just figger you’ve lost?”
Cocking his head to the side, Rauma shrugged and delivered a swaggering smirk, “Call it a matter of pride.”
Vienne had wrapped her fingers tightly into one pocket of Rauma’s jacket, and he let them stay there a moment longer than necessary before inconspicuously removing them and thereby freeing himself.
It wasn’t a moment too soon, because the skinny man moved forward and it was only a slight glint in the light of a distant street lamp that revealed the knife he lunged with.
Rauma slid to the side, catching the man’s wrist and twisting mercilessly until the fingers fell limp, dropping the sharp object to the ground with an offensive clatter. Their eyes locked and Rauma relentlessly twisted further, eliciting a clenched-teeth grunt. The bones of his thin wrist shifted under Rauma’s fingers and a vicious snarl carved his face as he twisted further, further, until a dry snap resounded through the street, drowned out by the howl of pain that came with it.
Dropping the limb, Rauma stepped back and turned to face Vienne.
Her eyes were side, and she kept glancing from him to the blubbering bum on the ground. Rauma captured her attention and offered a small smile, one which she hesitantly returned.
“Come on; where’s that park you’ve been raving about?”
Vienne’s face split with a relieved grin and she shrugged at him, “I think we just turned too early—this way back to the road we were on, huh?” He hand curled around his arm and she tugged him after her, neither glancing back at the man whimpering on the ground.
Well, I'd just like some opinions if you please. ;D
It was deep into the heart of the day and the sky hung black and heavy over the city, rumbling like it was on the verge of sudden collapse. Struggling rays of sun worked their way through the black clouds and on towards the ground, not strong enough to make it all the way there. Streets bustled with midday traffic, people and cars thrumming to the heartbeat of the city as they went about their days.
High above them all, Rauma leaned his back against the inside face of the clock, not bothered in the least by the hundreds of feet he would plummet should his support choose to fail. His eyes were closed, allowing the bags beneath them more room to overwhelm his features.
Were it not for the obvious signs of exhaustion and the withered look of one wanting for food, he would have been handsome. Long legs stretch for what seemed miles, tipped off by ratty tennis shoes and hidden by rather used jeans. His torso was long as well, wrapped beneath a leather bomber jacket and lengthy arms. His dark hair could do with a trim, as it fell down to tease at his shoulders and tumbled haphazardly into his sleep-tinged face.
“You’re going to get old sitting up here.”
Rauma opened his eyes like he hadn’t been asleep just moments before. “Is that so?”
The girl was slight in built and nearly overcome with the size of her t-shirt as it swallowed her torso. Beneath it extend small, jean-clad legs and down her back spilled a long pony-tail of auburn hair.
Her petit features split in a grin, showcasing a perfect set of teeth, the one thing Vienne was obsessive about. Rauma couldn’t even count the amount of times she had told him ‘a perfect smile is my ticket out of here’.
Considering where they were, he begged to differ.
All the same, it was an enchanting smile and he couldn’t help beg shrug the terrible attitude that had befallen him early that morning when he woke to find the skies even gloomier than usual, bringing in a cold front that would no doubt have the rest of his fellow street vermin slithering into the clock tower and other abandoned buildings throughout the city, invading his space.
There was ‘government housing’ down on the south side, but most feared going there unless they had been Touched. Rauma had been (not that he would tell Vienne—she would certainly abandon him if she knew) but still, he refused the housing and the prejudice that accompanied it, even down into the slums.
“So come outside with me—it’s nice and cool, not boiling like yesterday.” Vienne sidled up to him, dropping to lean against his side and rest her head on his bony shoulder. “You already look sick enough. Fresh air will do you good.”
Seeing no other option (because with Vienne there never was), Rauma pushed her head off his shoulder and stood, waiting until the top of his head was again at six-foot-five before he allowed a displeased frown to crease his features.
“Yes!” Vienne practically popped to her feet, grabbing Rauma’s hand and leading him to the tiny service elevator. They boarded it and one button had them plunging at a shuddering snail’s pace towards the ground floor. “You’ll see, it’s not as bad as you make it out to be. There’s plenty to do…”
Rauma didn’t bother listening—Vienne rarely said anything of value on these sorts of diatribes. Actually, she rarely said anything of value at all. He honestly wasn’t sure how someone could talk so much and know so little, but it seemed Vienne was determined to create the impossible in all her pursuits, this being no exception.
The elevator groaned and settled to a stop with a relieved sigh. As they got off of it and slipped out of the tower’s back door and onto the street, Vienne continued speaking, now about some park.
“…and really, it’s amazing. There’s statues and this old set of swings from way back before Fall and they haven’t even finished putting all the concrete in, so there’s still a couple trees. And I mean, they’re fenced off and all, but still…”
Figuring there was no chance he was getting out of tagging along on Vienne’s pointless adventures, Rauma resisted the urge to sigh and settled in for the long haul.
They traipsed through the city in ragtag sneakers, scuffing the dirty concrete sidewalks with their messy footsteps. Vienne continued a constant stream of chatter as they went. Telling him all about things she’d told him about a million times before.
Her voice fell into a sudden silence as her steps came to a halt. “Rauma…?”
He raised his head to pay attention to where they had been going, and instantly froze. His whole body, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head, filled with the parched feeling of inevitability. He positioned his body so he was in front of Vienne and narrowed his eyes, scanning around them to find the source of their obstacle.
“Well,” drawled the tone of a southern city slum, “Looks like I got myself a couple a youngun’s. Wasa matter? Too far from home?” The face was despicable; pimpled and pockmarked, the skin was stretched taught across emaciated features. His eyes were deep soulless pits of watery brown and beady black pupils and they fixed on Vienne with a sort of lustful hunger that set Rauma’s teeth on edge.
Rauma said nothing, reaching a hand back to grip Vienne’s arm tightly, silently claiming her. He didn’t step back, but stood his ground with a steady gaze locked on the other man’s. Naturally, Rauma was fairly intimidating, what with his rather formidable height, and he used it fully to his advantage in this moment by drawing his spine up to its very straightest.
The lanky, gaunt man stepped forward, his greedy fingers curling into a bony fist and releasing a moment later. “You a hero, boy?”
In the shadow the clouds caught the sunlight with, the battle of wills was ominous.
“Of course not,” Rauma retorted, “There aren’t any heroes in this city.”
A chuckle, high and hysterical, rose from the man like a punch, bursting suddenly into the air and ripping straight through the tension. “Well,” he gasped through the chortling, “damn straight.” He humor cleared quickly enough, though, and the greedy lust returned to his face. “So why don’t you just figger you’ve lost?”
Cocking his head to the side, Rauma shrugged and delivered a swaggering smirk, “Call it a matter of pride.”
Vienne had wrapped her fingers tightly into one pocket of Rauma’s jacket, and he let them stay there a moment longer than necessary before inconspicuously removing them and thereby freeing himself.
It wasn’t a moment too soon, because the skinny man moved forward and it was only a slight glint in the light of a distant street lamp that revealed the knife he lunged with.
Rauma slid to the side, catching the man’s wrist and twisting mercilessly until the fingers fell limp, dropping the sharp object to the ground with an offensive clatter. Their eyes locked and Rauma relentlessly twisted further, eliciting a clenched-teeth grunt. The bones of his thin wrist shifted under Rauma’s fingers and a vicious snarl carved his face as he twisted further, further, until a dry snap resounded through the street, drowned out by the howl of pain that came with it.
Dropping the limb, Rauma stepped back and turned to face Vienne.
Her eyes were side, and she kept glancing from him to the blubbering bum on the ground. Rauma captured her attention and offered a small smile, one which she hesitantly returned.
“Come on; where’s that park you’ve been raving about?”
Vienne’s face split with a relieved grin and she shrugged at him, “I think we just turned too early—this way back to the road we were on, huh?” He hand curled around his arm and she tugged him after her, neither glancing back at the man whimpering on the ground.