Sake-chan
Full Member
My little momo angel ^ cute or what
Posts: 152
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Post by Sake-chan on Nov 20, 2008 14:41:00 GMT -5
I had great fun writing this a while ago, and I thought you lot may like to read an comment. Perhaps not one of my best, but I LOVE it so you know, comments would be mucho appreciated. Loves!
Wolves in the Moonlight
The wolf howled in the light of the great full moon It knew that the time to feast was soon Staring at the darkness all around Waiting for the alarm to sound It fell to all fours, golden eyes on the town The time was upon them for the hunt to go down Out came the cry, three notes long That beautiful and haunting song Now was the time for the pack to converge Into the town, together they’ll surge. No-one was spared, no mercy paid All were taken, every lord, lady and maid Too long they’d been hunted, but the pack will not die A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye Dawn approaches and the feast is done The pack flees to the darkness, away from the sun The snow lies crimson as the night sky fades Tonight a blood debt was repaid.
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Post by kaiku on Nov 20, 2008 14:58:03 GMT -5
Ooh, I like! You're very good at rhyming without making it seem forced. Every time I write rhyming poetry, I always end up feeling like I'm putting words in just to make it rhyme and not because they go well. I guess that's why I stick to writing stories instead! I love the last four lines.
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Sake-chan
Full Member
My little momo angel ^ cute or what
Posts: 152
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Post by Sake-chan on Nov 20, 2008 15:06:38 GMT -5
In all honesty, as strange as it sounds, I find it WAYYY easier to write poetry in rhyming pairs like this. It doesn't make sense, but I can't write poems UNLESS I write them like this. Thank you so much for commenting. Appreciated! Loves!
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Post by Raihor on Nov 20, 2008 21:57:35 GMT -5
I can't write poetry at all. I stick to 'poetic prose' (basically prose with lots of figurative language and stuff; a poem with no rhyms or rhythmic structure.
As for your poem, I like it too! you're darn good at poems.
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setrida
Full Member
It's a fool who plays it cool by making this world a little colder.
Posts: 157
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Post by setrida on Nov 20, 2008 22:16:20 GMT -5
I really like it! You have a nice sense of which words go together well. Not a cliche subject either; very nice and refreshing. Bravo! Full points!
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shadowslayer
Full Member
I'm proud of myself, I can make everyone mad at once
Posts: 218
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Post by shadowslayer on Nov 23, 2008 19:53:07 GMT -5
that was amazing!, if I ever write poetry it ends up being an epic, that doesn't rhyme right? and 'epically' short, I'm a little to happy today, gotta stop with the monster.....
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Sake-chan
Full Member
My little momo angel ^ cute or what
Posts: 152
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Post by Sake-chan on Nov 24, 2008 3:04:12 GMT -5
Thank you to everyone who has commented on this poem. You have noidea how happy it makes me reading your comments. *loves and huggles*
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Post by zemira on Nov 24, 2008 10:18:13 GMT -5
Very nice! I quite enjoyed it, as I'm one of those people who think animals have more right to live than humans. ^_^ I especially luved this line: A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye
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Post by Raihor on Nov 24, 2008 11:43:42 GMT -5
Animals and humans both have just as much right to live! I'm all for equality. I'd be a communist, if it actually worked in the real world. I think if I get a job I'll call the people in both higher and lower positions than me 'comrade' That'll annoy the boss alright. Comrade!
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Sake-chan
Full Member
My little momo angel ^ cute or what
Posts: 152
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Post by Sake-chan on Nov 24, 2008 11:58:12 GMT -5
hehe sounds like fun. I'd try it in school, but I'd probs just get detention... or beaten up... COMRADE!!!
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Post by zemira on Nov 24, 2008 12:01:09 GMT -5
I used to salute my friends in the hallways in the way of the Nazi (tee hee, fun to say) but we got in big trouble for it. Siiigh. Not like we were actually going to go out and start a war. We just wanted a different way to acknowledge each other besides waving.
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Post by Raihor on Nov 24, 2008 12:06:36 GMT -5
Me and a friend took the p*ss out of nazis and their salute in history and got in a load of trouble. My teacher said we were being offensive. In my head I was all 'but I want to offend nazis!'
Did you know: Before WWII and all that horribleness, the American army used to salute their flag in the same fasion? My german friend told me. He's weird, and tells me everything I know is wrong ("9/11 was done by the government!" "The KKK were not always that bad!" "Hitler didn't kill 6,000,000 jews!"). When he does I just sit there and wait for him to finish XD
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Sake-chan
Full Member
My little momo angel ^ cute or what
Posts: 152
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Post by Sake-chan on Nov 24, 2008 12:23:36 GMT -5
I think people are like that with me... I talk about really weird things. I bore the pants off my friend melissa about Doctor Who.
Yes, I'm a Whovian ... and proud! *waves little Doctor who flag*
anyway, about nazis, I dunno if she was just making it up, but my friend Steph said she was a distant relation of Hitler. She stuck wonky paper eyes on her glasses and a fake little mustache and did the nazi salute once in break. Oh how we laughed! Lol!
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Post by Raihor on Nov 24, 2008 13:11:37 GMT -5
I'm distantly related to Clint Eastwood. Yep. Really, it's true! Common ancestor!
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Sake-chan
Full Member
My little momo angel ^ cute or what
Posts: 152
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Post by Sake-chan on Nov 25, 2008 3:11:21 GMT -5
Wow. that's pretty cool. I don't think I'm related to anyone cool. Well, My cousin Sarah was a PA for Oasis, Scary Spice, and used to live next to Ant and Dec. Lol she got drunk once and went to ask them for a bottle of wine. Actually, I take it back, she is cool. And I've been on telly.
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